A long Holiday

I am back from Thanksgiving winding up my classes. I was only gone a week, but it was a long week. Thanksgiving was nice. I enjoyed the grandkids, however, there was no left over turkey after dinner. That news in itself is depressing. My waist line is better for it.

Friday I went to my 20year class reunion. Yes, it has been that long. Most everyone became older and fatter like myself. The men had less hair. I saw my oldest friend, Tonya. We went to preschool together. The cutest most popular boy in school came up to me and said, "I remember you, do you remember me?" He asked like it was actually a possibility to forget him. Perceptions are strange. All in all it was a good night.

Saturday was rough for me. My best friend and love of my life died in August and I went to his grave. I missed the funeral because I am here in Florida and he was there in Michigan. I stood on the grass numb with tears just behind my eyes. He does not have a grave stone. His mother cannot afford one. I cannot imagine this world without him in it, and I do go on each day aware of his absence,but only shock has set in. I miss him beyond words.

I am not a weak person, and I know that life goes on both in this world and in the after world. However, how do I say I am devastated without sounding self absorbed?

deep inside
I am slumped into a ball
the tears are welling
in my eyes.
I pray
you never see
a single tear
slide down my cheek.
I am standing before you
and you see me
standing tall,
but you have been decieved
because,
I am about to fall.

Teusday I returned to the final week of school and I have been writing papers, and finishing projects non stop since. The end of my first semester back in school. Boy did it go fast. It is just a beginning but it is nice to have made another step toward my goal. I have been slowly walking this uphill trail since the labor pains started on my 17th birthday and I am ready to get to the end and have hot chocolate.

As far as the project, it is coming along quite nicely. I will write the reflective memo after this entry, and then it is just tying up loose ends. I need to cross my T's and dot my I's. Good luck on finals everyone. It all starts again in January.